I am ever so grateful to have a friend to talk to at odd hours of the night. Knowing that I can count on her and she can count on me. I was stressing out ever so badly about school and work. Doing both full time has been taxing on me – mind and body. She reminded me that small steps is all I need. Things will be good. I returned the favor with open ears to find she was feeling the same in regards to being far away from her ultimate goal. We will make it! We will succeed! Sometimes all you need is a friends ear to listen, not just hear you.
When things are going wrong, I find solace in prayer.
There are times when I look back at our relationship and I see doubt. I am scared shitless. Most of the time I am confident about us. But there are moments when it is just clouded in darkness. I don’t like that there are these moments of doubt. It scares me. What will become of us if I ever let these feelings take over me? When I left Vegas I felt strong and certain that we would be lasting. But maybe because it was the fact that I know distance wasn’t the issue. The issue is me. My moments of loneliness lead me to investigate and over think. I want to be the only one for you. I want to be the one. I don’t want to be the second choice. I know I’m not your first love but please don’t be cold towards me. The honeymoon phase has been over for a long time.
Finally made the move to AZ. It certainly different from what I am used to. I’ve heard that Phoenix is ever hotter than Las Vegas during the summers. I am dreading summers here but you do what you gotta do. I was very spoiled in LV. Everything I had there was new – no pests. When I first moved into my apartment I was so scared of the roaches. Yes, cockroaches! Ugh. It made me lose my appetite. My parents came with me here to get situated. They bought me some food and some basic necessities to help me be comfortable. They even helped get me some things to help with pest control. I hope it will all work and I will not have to deal with these roaches much longer!